When I started officially making goals a number of years ago, my weakest link was having self worth and confidence. I was unable to accomplish those goals and I felt horrible about myself and spent most of my time beating me up about the failures. So, this past year I have made great efforts to learn more and understand myself better in this area.
As I look back on my life and the goals that I have made over the years the questions of "why this time? How is this time different than the last? Am I really capable of completing this?" have entered my mind over and over. Setting numerous goals that mostly are out of reach with very little confidence in myself, I have realized is just plain crazy! But as I ponder now I think to myself, why not make goals to better my self-esteem? I am sure plenty of people think this is crazy! I am sure I would if the tables were turned. Practicing confidence and self worth for me, can be uncomfortable at times, tiring and quit frankly painful. I get extremely nervous around people I do not know, I have a hard time making conversation with others and I usually end the experience with anxiety over what just happened. So, then why do I care? I care because I keep hearing confidence is attractive. And who doesn't want to be attractive? Confidence is a positive outlook about yourself that shows the world that you are beautiful, fun, loving and proud of yourself just the way you are. It shows that you are accepting of different situations no matter if the conclusion is good or bad.
I have concluded that I need to know how far pure desire can take me. The acute notion that desire is what we are after in this world, be as it may, and my desire is to love myself unconditionally. The only way to really get to this understanding is if I strip away all the negative thinking and feelings of my everyday living and get down to the most basic human instinct, survival. There are many ways to challenge this pure desire to strive for survival and I can do this through building my self esteem up with setting and accomplishing goals, entertaining positive interactions with others that I do not know or who do know me and developing self worth through learning experiences no matter the outcome. This opportunity gives me a much needed push to set goals for confidence that make me stretch and reach to achieve them.
I believe many people would benefit from testing their own possibilities as I am hoping to do. Sometimes in life we stop the journey early and find out that we have limits, while others might loss their life trying to discover their limits, but to dare something that is difficult is a very admirable goal.
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. – Theodore Roosevelt
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