KINDLE ME FANCY

I seriously LOVE my Kindle! 

Don't get me wrong...I love paper books too!

But I love reading on my Kindle so much more!!

Here are the books I have read in the past two months on my wonderful, lite E-book that I can cart anywhere and that holds thousands of books on it at a time while allowing me access to a dictionary and the internet and has a cute lime green case on it...

1 - The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

2 - Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls

3 - Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet

4 - The Paris Wife by Paula McLain

5 - Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

6 - Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick

Also, my Sweets has been reading lately too and suggests reading: 

1 - Where Men Win Glory by Jon Krakauer

2 - Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

If you haven't read these books yet, I highly suggest you read them! They all are really good and really profound. There truly is nothing better than reading. 

TIMING IS EVERYTHING...

AND THEN SOME! 

TIming is good, bad, slow, fast, long, short, tearful, happy, sad, joyful, frustrating, exciting, nerve-racking, thrilling, stressful, stress-free, patient and stupid!

This is where I am right now!

I am trying to have faith in His Timing but it is beginning to take a toll on me. This is something that I have been struggling with for quite sometime now. Although I have learned this rule of thumb since I was little and am reminded of it every Sunday at Church, I somehow think that there should be an exception to His Timing, and that I could be that exception. Sadly, as time goes on, I realize that I am not!

So, after many days, weeks and months I am left here in the same place as I was before all this started... 

broken, tired, emotional and stressed!

WHY?

I have no idea, but I sure hope that I find out soon. In the meantime, I will continue on practicing my faith that He knows what truly is best for me and that He will take care of my needs at His right Timing!

HAPPY THURSDAY!

SIMPLY ... JOY

Meet Chad!

only pic i have - sorry

Chad is a boy who loves to climb with Splore every week. Yesterday I had the privilege of working with him. Chad is pretty much non-verbal (except for words like dad, climb, smile, foot) but does use American Sign Language. In addition to climbing, he loves to run around Momentum and have you chase him, and normally I would be up for this game, however I made the mistake of unhooking him first, so when I went to chase him I got tied up in the ropes and fell backwards on the ground! (note to self, unhook ME first.) Anyway, after I caught him I asked him to expend some of his energy that he had and push himself real hard for me today and climb a 5.9. (for those who don't understand climbing, a 5.9 is a really intense degree level climb and is extremely difficult for children). I moved him over to the wall and grabbed the ropes to get us hooked in to start climbing. While he doesn't communicate back to you, he does understand everything that you tell him to do. A few climbing placements and rest times later, he made it to the top and gave me a BIG smile and thumbs up!!! He then motioned for me, using ASL, and began repelling down the wall screaming "Dad". As soon as his feet touched the cushions and before I could untie him, he ran to his dad and gave him a huge hug. It took everything I had not to cry at this beautiful sight. 

Working with these children every week is such a blessing. I can't wait for work to be over so I can go be with them and see the happiness that rock climbing brings to their face. I learn so many wonderful things like patience, love, the importance of eye contact and positive communication, love, gratitude and simply ... joy from them! There is a special aura that is emanated that is so addictive. I hope I can always work with Splore in helping give children with disabilities the opportunity to increase their trust, fine/gross motor skills and self-esteem through recreational activities. 

"No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child" Abraham Lincoln

MY DARE TO CHALLENGE MYSELF

When I started officially making goals a number of years ago, my weakest link was having self worth and confidence. I was unable to accomplish those goals and I felt horrible about myself and spent most of my time beating me up about the failures. So, this past year I have made great efforts to learn more and understand myself better in this area.

As I look back on my life and the goals that I have made over the years the questions of "why this time? How is this time different than the last? Am I really capable of completing this?" have entered my mind over and over. Setting numerous goals that mostly are out of reach with very little confidence in myself, I have realized is just plain crazy! But as I ponder now I think to myself, why not make goals to better my self-esteem? I am sure plenty of people think this is crazy! I am sure I would if the tables were turned. Practicing confidence and self worth for me, can be uncomfortable at times, tiring and quit frankly painful. I get extremely nervous around people I do not know, I have a hard time making conversation with others and I usually end the experience with anxiety over what just happened. So, then why do I care? I care because I keep hearing confidence is attractive. And who doesn't want to be attractive? Confidence is a positive outlook about yourself that shows the world that you are beautiful, fun, loving and proud of yourself just the way you are. It shows that you are accepting of different situations no matter if the conclusion is good or bad.

I have concluded that I need to know how far pure desire can take me. The acute notion that desire is what we are after in this world, be as it may, and my desire is to love myself unconditionally. The only way to really get to this understanding is if I strip away all the negative thinking and feelings of my everyday living and get down to the most basic human instinct, survival. There are many ways to challenge this pure desire to strive for survival and I can do this through building my self esteem up with setting and accomplishing goals, entertaining positive interactions with others that I do not know or who do know me and developing self worth through learning experiences no matter the outcome. This opportunity gives me a much needed push to set goals for confidence that make me stretch and reach to achieve them.

I believe many people would benefit from testing their own possibilities as I am hoping to do. Sometimes in life we stop the journey early and find out that we have limits, while others might loss their life trying to discover their limits, but to dare something that is difficult is a very admirable goal. 

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. – Theodore Roosevelt

MOTTO:

TO GET ME THROUGH TODAY!

APPRECIATION...

I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience 

in which I must stop and look fear in the face… 

I say to myself, I’ve lived through this 

and can take the next thing that comes along… 

We must do the things that we think we cannot do.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Life was a little hectic last week, and feelings of stress and obligations completely consumed me.  Taking it out on those I love and hold dear, never helped either. In fact, it never helps.  So, instead of being annoyed with them for not giving me much of a fight, tonight I will feel love and relief that those who greet me matter significantly more than those obligations I was stressing over last week for no reason! Luffs ya Sweets! 

BUILD THE PRESENT

...if you dread tomorrow, 

it's because you don't know how to build the present,

and when you don't know how to build the present,

you tell yourself you can deal with it tomorrow, 

and it's a lost cause anyway

because tomorrow always ends up becoming today...

(the elegance of the hedgehog)