COINCIDENCE?

I think not!

I got home yesterday and I walked straight to our back door to let our pups inside and I found Telly eating a huge stack of papers comfortably laying down on the grass. (what the). I thought "where on earth did he find these" and "what are they"? I picked up all the chewed papers scattered across our lawn, pried the rest of the papers out of Tweeters' mouth, and took them inside to inspect the damage. I found the title page soaking in saliva and read "Brokerage Agreement Contract". (eye roll plus sigh). I called Sweets a little panicked and asked him what these papers were and if they were important. His response was a little different than I had expected. He started laughing on the phone really loud and was cheering! (startled and confused). I asked if this was a joke and he told me those papers were his new contract for work that he needed to sign. Mind you, this contract change over the past month has been extremely frustrating and ridiculous. I joined in the laughter and we both congratulated Telly on eating the contract. I guess Sweets cannot agree to the new terms! Dang it! (joke)

S T A T I S T I C S

Sad as it is, it definitely happened and it is definitely true.
(i know this is long, but it is worth the read. I promise)

OK, so hold on to you belly (laughing uncontrollably makes it more fun when you hold your belly like Santa) and cover your mouth (partly for the gasp effect and partly for the burst-out-loud noise it will make when reading this post), because this story is funny! Slightly embarrassing actually! But still funny!

Last night our ward was to do sealings at the Draper Temple at 7. Sweets called me at 6:20 saying he was running late from work and would need to meet me there. I quickly finished getting ready, fed Tahoe, grabbed both our bags and hopped in the car.  

MISTAKE 1- I was running frantically to get out the door and to get there on time thus elevating my anxiety levels...

Just as I was coming around the corner to the temple entrance, Sweets calls me in a panic and asks if I somehow remembered to bring his pants that were hanging in the laundry room and NOT neatly folded in his temple bag. (How was I supposed to know.) My response was no. He called the temple super quick and they mentioned that had an emergency pair for him.

MISTAKE 2- I felt responsible and felt the need to fix the problem so in the mean time of his calling I was worrying about whether or not I should go back to the house and get the pants, and if I did go back, would I make it back again to the temple in time. Furthermore, this caused a heightened anxiety level which further depleted the only remaining sugar I had left in my body.  

So basically, you see where this is going. Sweets borrows an emergency pair of pants from the temple, we get dressed and start the sealing. There were a few peeps there so it was long, or at least it felt long to me. When it was our turn, Sweets made a comment of how he passed out last time to the room so we were to be on guard. As funny as that was, I looked at him and said I may be the one passing out! A few minutes later, literally about 2 minutes later, I PASSED OUT!!! I couldn't even believe it. I was overcome with sweat and heat and turned ghostly white. Before I new it I was hunched over still holding Sweets hand so I wouldn't fall backwards on the floor. He carried me to the side and a lady went and grabbed me some apple juice. While I was regaining consciousness, still shaking, she was pressure pointing my hands trying to get my blood flowing faster.

MISTAKE 3- I was a little depressed about the way my eating and dieting has gone lately that I decided to go back on the 5 day 5 ingredient challenge. So, not having too much food in my system, and still managing to exercise running 2 hours earlier, I was not adequately prepared with food for the temple. 

Once I felt better, they started back up with a new couple and believe it or not, SHE PASSED OUT!!! In the same exact spot and at the same time mind you! The room was halted again and laughter started breaking through the silence. She was carried back to the chairs and drank her apple juice. At that moment, I whispered to Sweets that it was time to go and that I needed to get some food. We broke away from the group and headed down the stairs. As I was leaving I saw the Sister who passed out after I did and she mentioned to me, "I don't know if it was not getting enough sleep, or not eating enough that made me pass out, but that has never happened before. Maybe it was watching you pass out that made me pass out"! I couldn't believe that I was, in a round about way, a potential cause of her passing out. I honestly couldn't help but chuckle at how random this all was.

MISTAKE 4- Apparently I am just so dang awesome and amazing that all people want to be like me! I never should have been a 'leader' last night and maybe then the domino effect might not have taken place. I sure hope whoever the couple was trying to get married actually did get married, because I sure as heck don't want to be yelled at on the other side! (J/K)

So you see, I became another STATISTIC last night at the Draper Temple last night!  

STORY OF MY LIFE...

This is just too funny to pass up! I secretly feel like this is my brain under review...

Ever wondered how a woman’s brain works?
It’s finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

WHY WOMEN ACCUMULATE WEIGHT...

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

“Good grief, look how smart I am!”

STORY OF MY LIFE

i just keep tripping, stumbling and falling

over my own two feet

in places i'm not sure why or what was in my way.

the awkwardness takes over my mind and

i begin to walk faster

but i can't power walk fast enough to escape the humiliation.

i trip.

i stumble.

i fall. harder.

i struggle with strength and determination.

someone help me, but

the noisy laughing of these people to my face scape off my last bit of hope.

those who fall need to get up.

with my last remaining moments

i shall write a story, a name, a face.

my story.

my name.

my face.

avoiding monster-like shadows

i continue to walk sure footed past my fears

glancing behind as i leave footprints that i am not alone.

remember to get yourself back up.

learn from your mistakes and be strong

for i know that i am capable of anything.

(If you couldn't tell already by reading above, I am not a writer, but I just felt the urge to write something a little out of the ordinary.)

My sweet husband reminds me daily (which is how often this occurs) that he doesn't know anybody else who trips, stumbles or falls as much as I do; and he knows a lot of people! It happened again last night as we were running errands. We stepped out of a business door onto the sidewalk and within a few steps I was catching myself from face planting. As we both looked behind me to see what I had fallen over...there was a big fat nothing! That's is when he proceeded to laugh at me and make fun. I can't help but laugh with him as a supporting wife!

x0xo

BIg Foot!

Something is different in this picture!

I just can't figure it out!

Its odd, but I just can't put my FOOT on it...

HA-

Apparently when you make slippers out of felt you need to shrink them first before wearing!

Too funny

ScHAIRy

HAHAHA...

I didn't know what to say when weston walked in the door from getting his hair cut, so I grabbed my camera instead!

I figured some things are better left unsaid...