THE INFAMOUS "TOUR de FRANCE"

The Tour de France started July 2nd and ended July 24th. It is a crazy-awesome bike race consisting of 22 teams and 198 riders pedaling about 2,143 miles with only 2 rest days!

HOLY CRAPOLA! 

They bike in rain and shine! 

I mean, it is seriously INSANE! 

For the past few weeks this tour has been on our TV constantly. Every morning before work we would turn it on and every night before bed we would turn it on. There wasn't much else that we watched or did besides the "Tour". It is always exciting to see the cyclists and their teams bike hundreds of miles in a day, day after day, to win the race around France. There were some pretty nasty falls this year that took out some cyclists, and then there were some pretty awesome stage wins! 

I am totally unsure about this year's outcome of Tour de France! 

Although I don't really mind Cadel Evans, winner in yellow, I much would have preferred Andy or Frank Schlek, the brothers who took second and third. However, anyone that beats Contador, a not so friendly cyclist or person, is a winner in my book! Overall it was another great race and I can't wait for it to start again next year!

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS!

Do you ever feel like this?

I have felt this way a lot lately. It is almost as if I am in the movie Groundhog's Day and every day is 

M-O-N-D-A-Y!

I am one of those who suffer with S.A.D.S. and with the weather and all being out of whack this spring, it sure has taken its toll on me. It has sucked me up in a whirlwind frenzy of emotions, drenched me with mounds of water from constant floods of tears, tossed and mangled my body with fear, nervousness, anxiety and then spit me back out again to this ever so unpredictable and unreliable world.

I hope for brighter days ahead and more positive situations.

My day yesterday went a little something like this:

woke up twice in the middle of the night for puppy pee time with Telly,

hit the snooze button several times in the morning to try and catch the last few minutes possible of sleep that I didn't get during the night,

got Tahoe, Telly and our doggy-sat dog Callie outside and fed them breakfast,

got myself dressed and ready for work at half awake capacity, 

drank breakfast on the go,  

drove frantically on the freeway to work to ensure I wasn't late, again, while listening to "Radio from Hell" on x96,

fanned myself off with a work file-folder because my 'hot flashes' last more than just a flash,

remembered that I forgot to put out our frozen steaks to thaw for dinner,

yawned a few times and google searched "why my left eye won't stop twitching",

did computer stuff that somehow reflects my job description but I had no clue what it was that I was doing while using the function of only one eye,

fanned myself again and used an entire box of tissues to wipe away all the sweat dripping down my face,

got home and checked in on all my pups giving them lots of hugs and kisses, 

became overwhelmed for the fifty-hundredth time and cried uncontrollably again, 

forced myself and Tahoe on a jog down Wasatch trying to count the many blessings in my life that I have been given,

headed to the grocery store to buy new steaks,

started the never-ending loads of laundry that seem to be stalking me around the house in heaping piles,

yawned some more and wished for a D.P. to rid my migraines, 

started building the A.R.K. for primary that is a gazillion feet long out of teacher butcher paper using only 30% of my potential function due to lack of sleep, 

texted Sweets to find out what time, or how long, he would be home for,

grilled up the seasoned steaks and paired them with a steamed spinach, grape and almond salad, 

cleaned up after dinner and loaded the 2nd dishwasher because I never unloaded the 1st dishwasher from the day before,

fed my pups dinner and snuggled with them until they could no longer stand me,

attempted to sit for a nano-second without having to feel guilty and catch my breath while the laundry room kept beeping at me to change loads, 

changed the loads of laundry and folded all the clothes, 

yawned again, 

stuck my head in the freezer and realized I was still sweating so went for the whole body in the freezer thing, 

shed one or two more tears before Sweets invited me to Home Depot with him to buy a drill,  

cleaned up the last bit of dishes and wiped down the kitchen while putting the laundry back into its respective place, 

binged ate a handful of BBQ chips, 

showered and got ready for bed,

let out a big and much deserved sigh,

watched True Grit with my Sweets, Tahoe, Telly and Callie, 

fell asleep feeling completely worn out!

I am usually not one for such a Debbie Downer post, but I got to be honest with all of you! This is what goes on inside of me every day and each day it continues I feel worse and worse. Sorry Sweets for not confiding in you earlier, but thank you for being my constant rock! 

I love you!

TWENTY - SEVEN

I turned the whopping 2-7 yesterday!

cute banner given to me from my chick-SIL bryn. 

Although my day consisted of the usual items of my everyday living, I still had a wonderful day!

I arrived to work to find my desk completely covered in "happy birthday" banners, sticky notes and balloons. I also was given a 3-layer pineapple rum cake and mint brownies from Leslie's Pastry's. I seriously have the best office!

the delish cake

A few family members took me to lunch after work at The Happy Sumo and it was divine! I am so in love with their Brooklyn Roll...YUM!

I spent the evening at Momentum, rock climbing with Splore. I enjoy working with the kids and learning from them and couldn't imagine doing anything else on my special day than this. It is truly such a great gift to me just to be with them for a few hours a week. 

When I arrived home, later than expected, I was greeted by my two favs, Sweets and dork-face. I quickly got dressed and cleaned up and headed to Silver fork for a late dinner. It was freezing cold up in the mountains but it was so peaceful. I appreciate that my sweets knows exactly what makes me the happiest woman in the world! After dinner, dork-face helped me open my gifts and I LOVE LOVE LOVE them! 

Thanks sweets for making my day the best and all about me. I am in complete love with you! 

Thanks family for all the calls, texts, gifts and birthday wishes! 

Thanks friends for the many "happy birthday" 's!   

Love you all! 

CHOOSE CHANGE

Change happens. Change is inevitable. While I don't love it, I am learning to accept it with a happy face (most of the time) and feelings of peace in my heart. Without Change, there would be no forward progression in life, and I am all about moving on!

You see, I am not too happy about the Changes in my life the past few months. These Changes, at first, didn't just happen over night. They were gradual, but when they caught up to me I denied them and didn't accept them with open arms. I just couldn't. It was scary. Different. New. 

I have been in a constant push-and-pull relationship with my body. Weight gain, weight loss, and back to weight gain. Needless to say, it is not subsiding. No matter how hard I try to work off the extra L.b's, the scale keeps on getting higher and when I use new tactics that are supposed to alleviate my lower back pain and the stress on my hips the more my A.S. (ankylosing spondylitis) flares up! Having said that, I have been getting better about accepting this new Change and internalizing it to mean something positive in my life. Like a representation of a new stage of living. 

Changes were made last year. Big ones. A marriage and a move. But there were subtle, personal bodily Changes too. All the cellulite and stretch marks (unpleasant and sad...I know) are a testament of the progression that I have made with myself both spiritually and physically over the last year. My body is dealing with Change in the best way it knows how, and I can't compare anything else to it. I can however, love the Change that my mind has made. I can love the Changes that I have made to better my spirituality and the relationship that I have with my husband. I have never been here before. It is foreign. I need to learn to accept it, understand it, and only then will I be able to grow from it.

I am going to make Changes. The kind of Changes that can make life better. Changes that put a smile on my face and give me hope that the future is bright. Basically, I am going to own up to it and love it.

I will CHOOSE CHANGE!

JUST ADMIT IT

it is one of THOSE days today. you know the kind, we all have them and it is totally warranted sometimes. the kind where every minute seems like a lifetime, and a lifetime is never-ending. where you can look at the ceiling or stare off into space for what seems like eternity and before you know it, a whole 1 minute has passed by. the kind where solace gets you through the day (even when no sadness has occurred). yet tears are awaiting to descend. today is my day to have one of THOSE days. it is my day to walk a little slower, to respond a little quieter, and to sigh a little louder.

i get THOSE days somewhat frequently in the winter months. weird, because i just love winter. i love the cozy feeling of warmth. i love embarking in service towards others. i love holiday decorations, christmas music, smells of cinnamon and spice, lights, and drinking hot chocolate. i love curling up by the fire wrapped in blankets with my sweets and fur watching movies. this is not to say that my summer months are filled with rainbows, doves and unicorns. they aren't. but THOSE days happen too in summer. they just seem to pop up at random. i wonder what causes THOSE days. maybe stress, the weather or lack of sleep. any of you have THOSE days?

they can't stop me. it may hinder my progression but it will not stop me. tomorrow will come and THOSE days will be gone. THOSE days of blank reminders and shuffle stepping will be at my back. when all i see are my loves in front of me i will know that THOSE days are gone. at least until the next one...

STORY OF MY LIFE

i just keep tripping, stumbling and falling

over my own two feet

in places i'm not sure why or what was in my way.

the awkwardness takes over my mind and

i begin to walk faster

but i can't power walk fast enough to escape the humiliation.

i trip.

i stumble.

i fall. harder.

i struggle with strength and determination.

someone help me, but

the noisy laughing of these people to my face scape off my last bit of hope.

those who fall need to get up.

with my last remaining moments

i shall write a story, a name, a face.

my story.

my name.

my face.

avoiding monster-like shadows

i continue to walk sure footed past my fears

glancing behind as i leave footprints that i am not alone.

remember to get yourself back up.

learn from your mistakes and be strong

for i know that i am capable of anything.

(If you couldn't tell already by reading above, I am not a writer, but I just felt the urge to write something a little out of the ordinary.)

My sweet husband reminds me daily (which is how often this occurs) that he doesn't know anybody else who trips, stumbles or falls as much as I do; and he knows a lot of people! It happened again last night as we were running errands. We stepped out of a business door onto the sidewalk and within a few steps I was catching myself from face planting. As we both looked behind me to see what I had fallen over...there was a big fat nothing! That's is when he proceeded to laugh at me and make fun. I can't help but laugh with him as a supporting wife!

x0xo