JUST WORDS

STRESS : a wide range of phenomena, from mild irritation to drastic dysfunction.

It comes in three steps. 

Step 1 ALARM - We were asked to speak in church this Sunday! When we got the phone call from the the 2nd counselor in the Bishopric, both our stomachs dropped to the floor. All that was left was an empty pit. We scrambled our thoughts and tried to comprehend what had just happened to us. After a sleepless night we still we in complete shock.

Step 2 RESISTANCE - We tried to come up with as many excuses as possible, but came up empty handed. A vacation, an appointment, food poisoning and a family reunion all made the list, but unfortunately, we are no good at lying. For the last year, we have managed to dodge the bullet of speaking in church, and now, it has finally caught up to us.

Step 3 EXHAUSTION - We can't run forever and we can't keep finding reasons as to why we won't be able to speak. It is truly tiresome and takes away our positive healthy energy. We are bound to speak at some point and this Sunday just so happens to be that lucky day. Our guards have been let down and our white flag is raised!  

FEAR : the ability to recognize danger and flee from it or fight. 

It is known as the Fight or Flight response.

We were both able to see the danger in speaking in church. For Sweets, it is the idea of expounding in detail and B.S.'ing long enough to cover the 15 minutes we were each given. For me, it is knowing that within the first 2 minutes, my once full-of-life body would then be lying on the floor covered in sweat and vomit. As Sweets gave in to the fight, I was still holding out for flight. Realizing that I had no where to go and no where to hide, I submitted myself and followed his example.   

ANXIETY : created feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness and dread.

Knowing that I suffer from this, I also know that I am doing the right thing. Sweets always tells me "Sometimes in life you have to do things that you just don't want to do", and he is absolutely correct. Although these definitions are "just words", so is my talk. I wrote "words" down on paper, mixed and matched them, rearranged them and twisted them into something more powerful than these words. They read something that I am proud of, and that I believe in. So why wouldn't I, or couldn't I share them with my ward family? 

This year is a new year. It is time for me to tear down my own walls with my own bare hands. I actually can't wait to speak on sunday, for I know that I will rock the pulpit! And the best part of it is, I have my best friend, husband and the love of my life there to do it with me!